Friday, January 28, 2011
snOMG
11:55 AM | 
Posted by
Lady Gray |
Before moving to the District, I frequently heard Washingtonians complain about the city's inability to deal with inclement weather. "All it takes is a few flurries before the Federal government shuts down" is a typical hyperbole you will hear. It wasn't until my first real storm did I realize how much truth there is in that.
On March 1st, 2009 we got something in the neighborhood of 6-8 inches. For most cities in the Midwest and northeast, this is nothing to write home about. In DC, its a totally different story. Metro buses ran on emergency routes only and as I was at that time, a pedestrian commuter (a term I misappropriated to highlight the amount of walking I did in addition to using public transit), this meant a nice long uphill walk in the snow to a bus stop half a mile up the road. Most memorable, however, was having to work in all the snow. At the time my job involved a significant amount of time outdoors and I learned how quickly DC snow turns to ice.
With Snowmageddon (Part 1) behind us, we assumed that the rest of the winter would be pretty easy. No one could recall a time in recent memory when we got more that a few inches at a time, so nearly two feet was enough for the season, right?
I know many people lost power and were cooped up in their home for days. We were really lucky. Being walking distance to the metro, a large grocery store and a mall with a ton of restaurants was a lifesaver. With the exception of the day the second wave hit, we had power, Internet and cable. We also had copious amounts of food. When cooking and eating got boring, we just walked to the local restaurants to get out of the house.
On March 1st, 2009 we got something in the neighborhood of 6-8 inches. For most cities in the Midwest and northeast, this is nothing to write home about. In DC, its a totally different story. Metro buses ran on emergency routes only and as I was at that time, a pedestrian commuter (a term I misappropriated to highlight the amount of walking I did in addition to using public transit), this meant a nice long uphill walk in the snow to a bus stop half a mile up the road. Most memorable, however, was having to work in all the snow. At the time my job involved a significant amount of time outdoors and I learned how quickly DC snow turns to ice.
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| Great photo of my former boss trying to clear the stairs at the office with a broken shovel |
While the 2008-2009 winter was somewhat typical for the District, I was ill prepared for what was to come the next winter. Beginning in December right about the time I was moving into a new apartment, we had our first significant snow storm. As we had already gotten a few inches a couple of weeks before, Mr. Gray and I were initially not too worried about what was to come. That quickly changed, however, when reports started predicting 16-20 inches might fall. This was to be the season that every report would be right. When they gave us a range of snowfall, it was the highest number every single time.
Unfortunately as I had to get to Los Angeles for my brother's wedding, I had no choice but to go ahead with my move. Following three nightmarish days traipsing through 20 inches of snow and ice, I promised that I would hire movers next time around. I joked then that you haven't really tested your relationship until you have gone through a move together. Throw in a few feet of snow and minus helpful friends that happened to be snowed in and you could very well have a recipe for disaster!
Thankfully when the blizzard hit in February of 2010, we were ready. The city's preparation ahead of the storm was actually very good. After getting walloped in December, no one was taking any chances. The first wave hit on a Friday afternoon. We knew it was going to be bad, so the Federal government, all area schools and many businesses called a pre-emptive snow day. This kept many people off the roads. My roommate and I invited another friend to wait out the storm with us. Her place was located beyond where the metro line came above ground. After 8 inches, the above ground metro stops. We knew she would need to get to her job in the city and as we were by the Ballston Metro, an underground station, staying with us would help her do that.
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| My roommate falling in the snow after the first round |
I know many people lost power and were cooped up in their home for days. We were really lucky. Being walking distance to the metro, a large grocery store and a mall with a ton of restaurants was a lifesaver. With the exception of the day the second wave hit, we had power, Internet and cable. We also had copious amounts of food. When cooking and eating got boring, we just walked to the local restaurants to get out of the house.
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| After the blizzard |
One thing you can count on just before a snow fall is the rush on the supermarkets. Its quite comical actually. Seeing the aftermath of this is what I imagine it would look like after an apocalyptic event. You can expect to be unable to find basic things like bread, milk and eggs. You can also forget about bottled water and shovels. One could create a black market for some of these items during a similar storm. Mr. Gray found himself in need of a shovel, and like most people this did not occur to him until about 36 hours before the storm hit. After half a dozen phone calls to local hardware stores (one store literally began their hello with "Thank you for calling xxx, we have no snow shovels. How can I help you?) I found out when the next shipment of shovels was arriving. Mr. Gray arrived an hour early and joined a throng of people gathered in what must have resembled a Soviet bread line.
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| The Ballston Metro |
Despite a full week of work from home and some frustrating transportation issues, we escaped Snowpacalypse relatively unscathed. It wasn't until this week that I was reminded of how incompetent the District can truly be in dealing with winter weather. We received 3-5 inches on Wednesday evening and despite the fact that the Feds and most companies dismissed their employees early, traffic jams eerily reminiscent of those in third world countries caught many by surprise. Commutes that usually take 30-45 minutes in traffic spanned over ten hours in some cases. Roads that are usually safe bets on even the heaviest traffic days were literal parking lots. Mr. Gray and I were lucky in only losing around two hours on account of an unnecessary book store run (my idea) four miles down the road. He's an angel :)
For your viewing pleasure, I have attached a home video of a friend of ours making full use of his snow day.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Things that move me
This story is almost a week old, but I can't get an image associated with the story out of my head. Carlina White was a little girl who disapeared shortly after her birth. Her parents thought they would never find out what happened to their baby until she solved her own kidnapping at the age of 23. The photo of her parents taken shortly after losing their brand new baby haunts me. Nothing can bring the last twenty plus years back that were lost, but this is truly a fairy tale ending.
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| Courtesy of NYP |
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Movies of my Generation Part 1
I supposed hundreds of years ago, before film was the all encompassing medium it is today, people defined their generation by the books that people identify with a specific period of their life. I could likely come up with a list of books that influenced me during that key point of my life, but we’ll save that for a later post.
This idea struck me recently, during the inventory of possessions that precedes impending nuptials. We quickly discovered, we simply had too much stuff. Or rather, as Mr. Gray would put it, I have too much stuff. Two of everything, to be precise. As neither of us easily absconds with recently purchased wares, we had to decide what we were willing to part with. Amongst many things, my smaller dining room set was the first to go. Remembering a good bachelor friend of mine whose apartment lacked this (in my mind) necessity. I gave him a call and offered him first dibs.
In our humorous attempt to quickly break down the set and pack it into his 5 Door M3, I made the discovery that he had never seen a single movie in the Terminator franchise. As Mr. Gray and I routinely stop and watch these films ANYTIME they are on television, this absolutely floored me. I grew up with the edited-for-cable versions of 1 and 2 and being a former resident of the Golden State, held a special place in my heart for the Governator and his films.
This discovery spurred a longer discussion on the movies that colored my childhood and adolescence. Conversations such as this I have held before, and this is not the first moment I have encountered someone of my age group being unfamiliar with a film I could almost recite from memory. Looking back on this conversation I thought it pertinent to create a working list of films I watched over and over in those formative years and to get input from others on their lists as well. Here is my number one:
This is first and foremost on my list for many reasons. Least of all being that any given day, if I discover this is on, I will drop what I am doing and watch it. Like the others on this list, I couldn’t tell you how many times I have seen this movie. But the numbers in the end don’t matter. Goonies is MAGICAL to me. Even as I approach the third decade of my life I fondly remember begging my father every week to rent it from the local Blockbuster. Looking back I don’t know why we didn’t just purchase it on VHS. I few years back I obtained the DVD for my own collection. Part nostalgia and part a desire to give my future children the opportunity to see a movie that shaped my childhood.
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| Courtesy of IMDB |
After finishing college I went into the substitute teaching corps for LBUSD. I frequently accepted assignments at a Middle School that had faculty and kids I loved. After being offered a two week end of year position to cover the class of a science teacher about to give birth to her first child, I saw an opportunity to have the freedom to plan my own class sessions for the very first time. As it was the end of the year and the grades were mostly complete, I could create lessons that were relaxed and fun for the kids I so adored. After a silly documentary on the Australian Cane Toad I opted to give the kids a break for the last two days. Goonies it was!
To my surprise, not a single student in ANY of my classes had seen or even heard of it. At around 23, I was 8-10 years older, but that’s hardly a different generation, right? I discovered that in these dynamic times, 5 years is an eternity. I have found I have more in common with my parents when it comes to movies, then kids born a mere six or seven years after me! Blown away that such a great movie that incidentally came out the year of my birth and featured actors anywhere from 15 to 25 years older than me could still attract those my age, I couldn’t believe that it didn’t stand the test of time as other classics did.
Coming next? You tell me what movies you watched over and over and I’ll highlight them!
Snow!
After all the "winter weather advisories" and reports of southern states a few inch of snow deep, we ended up with maybe a quarter inch on the ground. Regardless I'm always happy immediately after it snows and before it turns to mush. There is something really peaceful about a white winter wonderland. Or maybe its all the government bureaucrats still sitting at home because they are afraid to brave the roads ;)
This is a statue in front of the FTC on Pennsylvania Ave. I pass it on my way to the office each morning. It really captured my attention this morning so I thought I would share!
Choosing the District Part 1
I am blessed in this life. Its something I'm reminded of every day. Many people live their whole lives wondering "what if...?" In many cases, circumstances outside their control held them back from seeing their dreams through.
I hadn't been to the District since that fifth grade trip. At that point in my life, I knew that a change was coming and preemptively announced to my friends and family that I would be moving to DC. I didn't encounter much resistance, which was surprising considering this was completely ridiculous. I was moving 3,000 miles to a place I hadn't been in over ten years, didn't know anyone and didn't really have a plan? I can only assume that those closest to me saw my dream too.
After a long, awful cross country flight complete with thunderstorms, delays, refueling in Richmond and landing a full five hours late, I was finally here! Well, Dulles International Airport at least. After a bus and a train I arrived in Foggy Bottom, just late enough to have missed all the first night's activities. The feeling when I stepped off the escalator onto the streets of the District is indescibable. For the first time, I had come home. I felt the city wrap me up and welcome me. I knew in that moment, no matter what obstacles I had to overcome first, I would make my life here.
It was August of 2007. I was currently studying to be a teacher of social studies and had spent the last school year in mind-numbly boring credential courses. To say I was in a rut would be an understatement. But I had been given an opportunity. My whole life I dreamed of moving to DC. At the time, I couldn't articulate why.
It wasn't until a few years after settling here did my mother remind me. Sometime in the mid-nineties, I had traveled to DC with my fifth grade class. I hold some memories of that trip. I can see myself waiting in line for the White House and slipping in the rain. Then my mother falling asleep in the House gallery during a live session. I can't really blame her for that, however. It was probably the only time we sat down the whole week and being around a hundred fifth graders is exhausting. At some point I turned to her and announced, "Mom, I'm going to live here some day." She said she initially brushed it off, as I was about eleven at the time. But she realized later that I was totally serious and she worried a little. I have no memory of that exchange over 15 years ago. I'd like to think that was my eleven year old way of preparing my mom for what was to come.
While working on my undergraduate degree, I had become involved with a political group with offices in Santa Barbara, CA and Washington DC. As my Alma mater, CSU Long Beach, was only a few hours from Santa Barbara, I attended events frequently. A few times a year there would be speaker events, luncheons, mixers and short weekend conferences at the Fess Parker. With every event I met more authors, politicians and like-minded college students. After finishing my undergraduate degree I continued attending as an alumni and when they announced a week long conference in DC the summer of 2007, I eagerly signed up.
I hadn't been to the District since that fifth grade trip. At that point in my life, I knew that a change was coming and preemptively announced to my friends and family that I would be moving to DC. I didn't encounter much resistance, which was surprising considering this was completely ridiculous. I was moving 3,000 miles to a place I hadn't been in over ten years, didn't know anyone and didn't really have a plan? I can only assume that those closest to me saw my dream too.
After a long, awful cross country flight complete with thunderstorms, delays, refueling in Richmond and landing a full five hours late, I was finally here! Well, Dulles International Airport at least. After a bus and a train I arrived in Foggy Bottom, just late enough to have missed all the first night's activities. The feeling when I stepped off the escalator onto the streets of the District is indescibable. For the first time, I had come home. I felt the city wrap me up and welcome me. I knew in that moment, no matter what obstacles I had to overcome first, I would make my life here.
Can anybody tell me where the above photos were taken?
Monday, January 10, 2011
Ethical Issues of IVF and Sex Selection
I read an article today that literally makes me sick to my stomach. A couple in Australia is fighting their government for the right to sex-selective IVF. At first glance, this may not seem too egregious. Many couples have reasons for wanting a particular sex. Sometimes it is as simple as already having multiple children of one sex or as complicated as carrying a gene for a genetic defect only present in a particular sex. I have seen cases where couples had an interest in wanting to have only girls as they husband (or wife) carried a gene that would ensure any son born would have a debilitating defect that would result in a short, painful life. I can go into the ethical implications of that, but I will save that for another time. What sickens me is the next part oft he story where it describes how the couple has already aborted a successful IVF pregnancy that resulted in the conception of twin boys. This horrifies me. There are a few reasons why.
I have written about infertility issues in the past. It is an issue that is very near and dear to me. Not because I am unable to have children. For those of you who know me, you know that I am pro-life. But that designation does not just influence my decisions on election day. I decided a long time ago that in order to really make a difference, I have to do more than just call myself a pro-lifer. For many years I thought about how I could "walk the walk" in my commitment to saving the unborn. I have volunteered at pregnancy help clinics, listened to the stories of women who had previously ended their pregnancies pre-term and sought to be shoulder for the victims, because in many ways I see the women who choose this as victims as well. But this wasn't enough for me, I knew I needed to do more.
A few years ago I saw an add for egg donation and signed up. Being able to assist a couple in having a child as normally as possible seemed like a great way to help. In many ways I have seen infertility, IVF, BC and abortion become interconnected in this all encompassing issue of women's fertility. Standing where I can help those who desire children and want to do whatever they can to help them is an important position I have taken. You can choose to disagree, and argue that there are so many children that need good homes, why would you advocate against adoption? As someone that plans on pursuing adoption at some point in my life, I see the issues as being very different. Yes, there are children out there that need good homes. They need parents that WANT them, have dreamed about them and will do everything they can do provide them with a better life. Unfortunately, the numbers of adoptable children is not as great as it once was.
"The number of adoptions in the United States peaked in 1970.[45] It is uncertain what caused the subsequent decline. Besides the legalization of artificial birth control methods and abortion, the years of the late 1960s and early 1970s saw a dramatic change in society's view of illegitimacy. In response, family preservation efforts grew[46] so that few children born out of wedlock today are adopted (Refer to Table 1). Ironically, adoption is far more visible and discussed in society today, yet it is less common.[47]" (Wikipedia)
Adoption is a long, difficult process and a serious commitment. We all heard about the woman who sent her adopted son back to Russia last year. Disgusting as it was, it highlights an issue that rarely gets discussed. Many of the children that are adopted, especially from foreign countries, can have serious emotional issues. That can be a major burden for new parents and that has become a deterrent for some.
Last year I received a call from the fertility center I signed up for a few years back. They had a couple that was very interested in me. As my life has changed significantly since initially volunteering for this, I told the nurse I needed a few days to think it over and talk to Mr. Gray. I prayed and prayed. As this was to be an anonymous donation, I knew nothing about the couple. Were they going to be good parents? Why didn't they just pursue adoption? Was I wrong to assist them in this when there are children that need to be adopted? Could I even make that judgement? Could I trust that the clinic had done their homework in ensuring the couple should do this procedure? How much oversight is appropriate in this type of situation? In the instance of adoption, a couple's life is all but turned upside down to ensure they will be good parents. How does this differ from IVF?
In the end, with Mr. Gray's blessing, I told them yes and began the difficult preparation. After weeks of IVF I made my donation. Sometime this year I will know if it was a success. In the end, I reached this decision because I have to trust that God has a plan. Somehow I fit into the plan for this couple and the logistics of my work schedule and fitting in the surgery worked. I faced a few obstacles on the path to seeing this through and every door opened. Looking back, I am filled with awe when I think of this couple that now can experience giving birth to a child naturally. The mother (God willing) will carry this child herself and give birth herself. If she is anything like I am, she has probably dreamed of this most of her life. Being able to assist someone in having a child that they want so much they have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars and traveled thousands of miles to have is very fulfilling.
I can't speak for them, as I don't know their identity, but that life that was created is likely the most precious thing to them now. That is what is important. Changing the dialogue in this country regarding this hot issues will not happen until we remember that life is what is precious. No matter if it is just seconds after conception or 90 years after birth, it must be celebrated and revered.
I have written about infertility issues in the past. It is an issue that is very near and dear to me. Not because I am unable to have children. For those of you who know me, you know that I am pro-life. But that designation does not just influence my decisions on election day. I decided a long time ago that in order to really make a difference, I have to do more than just call myself a pro-lifer. For many years I thought about how I could "walk the walk" in my commitment to saving the unborn. I have volunteered at pregnancy help clinics, listened to the stories of women who had previously ended their pregnancies pre-term and sought to be shoulder for the victims, because in many ways I see the women who choose this as victims as well. But this wasn't enough for me, I knew I needed to do more.
A few years ago I saw an add for egg donation and signed up. Being able to assist a couple in having a child as normally as possible seemed like a great way to help. In many ways I have seen infertility, IVF, BC and abortion become interconnected in this all encompassing issue of women's fertility. Standing where I can help those who desire children and want to do whatever they can to help them is an important position I have taken. You can choose to disagree, and argue that there are so many children that need good homes, why would you advocate against adoption? As someone that plans on pursuing adoption at some point in my life, I see the issues as being very different. Yes, there are children out there that need good homes. They need parents that WANT them, have dreamed about them and will do everything they can do provide them with a better life. Unfortunately, the numbers of adoptable children is not as great as it once was.
"The number of adoptions in the United States peaked in 1970.[45] It is uncertain what caused the subsequent decline. Besides the legalization of artificial birth control methods and abortion, the years of the late 1960s and early 1970s saw a dramatic change in society's view of illegitimacy. In response, family preservation efforts grew[46] so that few children born out of wedlock today are adopted (Refer to Table 1). Ironically, adoption is far more visible and discussed in society today, yet it is less common.[47]" (Wikipedia)
Adoption is a long, difficult process and a serious commitment. We all heard about the woman who sent her adopted son back to Russia last year. Disgusting as it was, it highlights an issue that rarely gets discussed. Many of the children that are adopted, especially from foreign countries, can have serious emotional issues. That can be a major burden for new parents and that has become a deterrent for some.
Last year I received a call from the fertility center I signed up for a few years back. They had a couple that was very interested in me. As my life has changed significantly since initially volunteering for this, I told the nurse I needed a few days to think it over and talk to Mr. Gray. I prayed and prayed. As this was to be an anonymous donation, I knew nothing about the couple. Were they going to be good parents? Why didn't they just pursue adoption? Was I wrong to assist them in this when there are children that need to be adopted? Could I even make that judgement? Could I trust that the clinic had done their homework in ensuring the couple should do this procedure? How much oversight is appropriate in this type of situation? In the instance of adoption, a couple's life is all but turned upside down to ensure they will be good parents. How does this differ from IVF?
In the end, with Mr. Gray's blessing, I told them yes and began the difficult preparation. After weeks of IVF I made my donation. Sometime this year I will know if it was a success. In the end, I reached this decision because I have to trust that God has a plan. Somehow I fit into the plan for this couple and the logistics of my work schedule and fitting in the surgery worked. I faced a few obstacles on the path to seeing this through and every door opened. Looking back, I am filled with awe when I think of this couple that now can experience giving birth to a child naturally. The mother (God willing) will carry this child herself and give birth herself. If she is anything like I am, she has probably dreamed of this most of her life. Being able to assist someone in having a child that they want so much they have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars and traveled thousands of miles to have is very fulfilling.
I can't speak for them, as I don't know their identity, but that life that was created is likely the most precious thing to them now. That is what is important. Changing the dialogue in this country regarding this hot issues will not happen until we remember that life is what is precious. No matter if it is just seconds after conception or 90 years after birth, it must be celebrated and revered.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Life, Death and the In-Between
Living in this city, you tend to hold opinions on most topics. I'm going to lightly touch on a topic that everyone, regardless of location, vocation or background, will have strong feelings regarding. Lately I have been seeing an encouraging discourse on this subject.
Like many, my feelings on abortion are complicated and in order to not inadvertently alienate any readers, I will not articulate them here. However, I have always made a connection between this topic and the complications of infertility. As someone who has studied infertility and made deeply personal choices regarding my life and how I can help others in this struggle, its a connection that is difficult to ignore.
I'm reminded of an episode of Sex and the City when Charlotte, who is battling her own fertility, touches on this in a way most women can relate to. As a single urban professional, Charlotte and the other three have spent the better part of the last fifteen (or more) years trying to not conceive. Then, once they have established themselves, married the man of their dreams or crossed whatever other boxes that needed crossing they discover they can't. Either through years of the pill, an innate inability to conceive in the first place, other health reasons or simply waiting too long, the outcome is the same.
As women, we never really can have it that simply, can we? We want to succeed professionally, compete with men in a society that in many ways sets us up for failure. I want to have a balance between a family I devote myself to and a career I am successful. I don't want to have to sacrifice one for the other. Knowing there is no simple plan a woman must follow to achieve both, I must be satisfied with knowing I have a partner that will help me achieve both.
The Unborn Paradox
Waking Up from the Pill
Like many, my feelings on abortion are complicated and in order to not inadvertently alienate any readers, I will not articulate them here. However, I have always made a connection between this topic and the complications of infertility. As someone who has studied infertility and made deeply personal choices regarding my life and how I can help others in this struggle, its a connection that is difficult to ignore.
I'm reminded of an episode of Sex and the City when Charlotte, who is battling her own fertility, touches on this in a way most women can relate to. As a single urban professional, Charlotte and the other three have spent the better part of the last fifteen (or more) years trying to not conceive. Then, once they have established themselves, married the man of their dreams or crossed whatever other boxes that needed crossing they discover they can't. Either through years of the pill, an innate inability to conceive in the first place, other health reasons or simply waiting too long, the outcome is the same.
As women, we never really can have it that simply, can we? We want to succeed professionally, compete with men in a society that in many ways sets us up for failure. I want to have a balance between a family I devote myself to and a career I am successful. I don't want to have to sacrifice one for the other. Knowing there is no simple plan a woman must follow to achieve both, I must be satisfied with knowing I have a partner that will help me achieve both.
The Unborn Paradox
Waking Up from the Pill
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